Heartbroken

“When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.” ~ Khalil Gibran

My greatest delight, my soulmate, my love Patrick passed away peacefully Thursday morning, January 15, surrounded by love. This hard, hard day is softened by knowing his suffering is over, and that he is dancing among the angels.

Selfie Request!

This crazy life of mine has left the creative well so dry that I have ignored my blog far too long. I miss it – the writing, the friendships, the community of it all.

After almost 9 solid months in the hospital, since June 22, 2013, with only a brief break in December, my husband finally came home in late March. Since then, we focused on his on-going care and my work, with little energy for anything more than those. Things were buzzing along reasonably well until two weeks ago, when he was readmitted to the hospital. He’s just beginning to heal after surgery yesterday, but once again it will be a challenging and long road.

This is one of our hospital selfies from around his birthday this time last year:

We couldn’t do this without tremendous support from family and friends, near and far. It really does take a village. And sometimes we request strange things from our fellow villagers……..

My husband, Patrick, has a birthday on Tuesday, Aug. 12. Since this will be his second birthday in a row in the hospital, I hit up family and friends to send along birthday cards to fill his room with even more goodness and love. His sister had the great idea of starting a “Send Patrick a Happy Birthday Selfie” campaign.

So, if you’re so inclined, please take a picture of yourself holding up a “Happy Birthday, Patrick!” sign and either email it to me here on the blog (kachlynda at gmail dot com) or post to twitter with the hashtag #happybirthdaypatrick and/or tag me (@kachlynda). We’ll make sure he sees them!

Thanks.

And I hope to be back here again soon.

Wordless Wednesday: Sad Lunchbox

Wordless Wednesdays: what I got today

Another Suitcase in Another Hall

When I selected “capacity” as my word for 2014, I didn’t mean it as a challenge to the universe. Evidently I was wrong.

Last I wrote in January, my husband was hospitalized for a week to have some minor surgery and a bone biopsy. Writing on Saturday, he was to be released the next Monday. He was, indeed, released, but the fun was just beginning.

Biopsy results were mixed, so he was put on 2 IV antibiotics and sent home with a PICC line. I had a crash course in administering the IVs and line care, and poof – we were on our own. Within 48 hours, I knew something was up, as I recognized the early stages/symptoms of the problems that started all of this last June. A consult with his home care RN and off to the emergency room we went on Thursday.

Once at the ER, the naive young nurse suggested this was something easy, a quick temporary fix and off home again he could send us. The attending physician was the same one who saw him when he came into the ER in June — he remembered him coding. He ordered a few more labs, and once the numbers started rolling in, admittance was a sure thing.

One of the antibiotics had caused a violent reaction, which damaged and subsequently shut down his kidney function. Completely. New antibiotics, a reaction to the second one, and a long wait for “normal” began. I kept commenting to doctors and nurses that it seemed like he was building up a LOT of fluid, but the party line was to wait. Interesting choice.

He was admitted on Thursday. The following Wednesday so much fluid had accumulated that he went into severe respiratory distress and ended up in coronary care on a ventilator for 2 days. Then they decided perhaps the fluid buildup was a problem and started medication — he lost 60 POUNDS of fluid in the next 8 days!

He has worked his way back, somehow amazingly retaining his sense of humor and unflagging patience. Tomorrow he gets transferred back to the rehab hospital where he spent last fall. This time we are hoping for a shorter stay amongst familiar faces.

Another weekend, another hospital room. I’m grateful to family and friends who have supported us on this incredibly long journey, to (most of) the doctors and nurses who have eased the path.

And with the recent snowfall adding to the winter fun, I wait for Spring.